Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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