if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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