Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
