i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You pole danced in your parka.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
