guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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