The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
