Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
