That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
