i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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