I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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