There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
