Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
