spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
