Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
