peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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