There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
