I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
