Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
