Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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