it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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