Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
