I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
