i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
