yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
