I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
