the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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