roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
