Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
