are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
