Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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