Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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