Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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