Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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