You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
