Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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