You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
