So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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