where am i from again
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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