i already hear my dad disowning me
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
