ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
