i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
