omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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