ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
