i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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