we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
