fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
