I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
