we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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