The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
