Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
